TRUST

normally when someone make a promise or some sweet talk with me... i'll roll my eyes and say back off... i trust nobody... because there's no lose for them to give me empty promise... perhaps it has been built up over the years since my childhood that i need to protect myself... i grew up in an environment that looks good from outside but it's a rotten apple inside... all the adults gave me false impression and empty promises... i've learnt trusting no one in the end...
i've been trying very hard to open my heart... but yet unhappy stuff still occurs on and on from those person whom i trusted...
i'm a very easy going person if you are not nasty to me... for once my friendship was betrayed for a man... then some idiotic person go screwed up everything because it was a personal opinion... then the one i loved & trusted the most can't be trusted anymore... i have proof to everything i've said so far that my hypothesis was right.
my luck has been doing quite good in relationship recent years... i've been trying to keep the image going good so far... it's not faking... i'm trying to be nice ... just like Bree in the DHW show... i'm a perfectionist... i had an deja vu just now by having friend who was nasty to me previously saying sorry to me over the IM... i was shocked to hear that... it was a very nice formal sorry after so many years... hmm... perhaps i was touched... on the other side, i started to doubt... *freak*... come on, give ppl some benefit of doubt... sincerity will shown by time ...
few years back, some other ones asked me if i am still angry with those incidents that happens in high school... yes i was indeed... it would be better off that a sorry was said then rather than asking me if i'm still angry... a lot of people knows that i normally can forgive but the torn is unforgotten... it's hell lots of pain to pull the torn out when the flesh is grown around it right??!! so heck it...
for those people i've been very nasty with because they are not a nice person in the first place, i wish i have the courage to do what my friend had done just now by saying sorry... i only have this live once... it's either i like you or i don't... don't try to break my heart slowly coz i'll break your life once i found out...